Daddy, where do babies come from?
by Sanae
Summary: They have never ending resources, steel strength nerves and have been trained for the most dangerous missions. How will they deal with THAT question?
1. HEERO'S VERSION

_Let's make it clear. There are just a few things that can scare the hell out of a man. One of them could be having their manhood falling off when they are having a shower. Another one could be their wife's mum… Or their wife's premenstrual syndrome... But, there is nothing scarier for any man than getting THAT question from a lovely four-year-old little girl, especially if the four-year-old little girl is THEIR daughter. _

_Well, this is about to happen to the G-Boyz. They all have married their sweethearts and they all have had a little girl. And this is my theory about how Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, Wu-Fei and Zechs would react to THIS question:_

**DADDY, WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?**

HEERO'S VERSION:

Heero was sitting on the couch in the living room in the lovely house that he and Relena called home. He was reading the newspaper while his four year old little girl was playing when, suddenly, he felt a little hand tugging his pants' right leg.

"Yes Evie, what's the matter?" Heero asked looking down to his daughter as adoringly as he was capable of, which, of course, being the oh-so-stoic Heero, it wasn't much.

"The other day, in the kindergarden, I heard some children talking," said Heero's little girl who was a perfect copy of Relena but with his Prussian blue eyes.

"Aha… and?" Heero asked putting away the newspaper noting Evie's intention of making this a long conversation.

"Well…They were talking about something I wanted to ask you…" replied Heero's daughter.

"And what is that?" Heero said getting curious.

"Daddy, where do babies come from?"

"…"

"Daddy?"

"…"

"Hey, daddy? Are you ok?"

(Coughing) "Yes…er….REELEEENAAAA!!!"

"Mum isn't home. She is at that conference thingy," Evie kindly reminded him.

Heero tried to get some air into his lungs. He felt like he was about to faint. 'Gosh! I'm sure I can get through this…I have to get through this…!' Heero thought while he tried to remain calm while thinking of some way to divert the topic.

"Evie…look…that is something that you may want to ask mum…"

"No," Evie replied simply.

"No?" Heero asked getting increasingly worried.

"No. I want YOU to explain it to me," his little girl insisted.

"Ah…ok…er…you know…ehem….wait here!" said Heero running for his life towards his beloved computer.

He then started doing some research like a madman. He had to find the right information in that computer that had saved his life in so many other times.

"EUREKA!" Heero shouted grabbing the print out he had just made and going back to the living room where a very impatient Evie was waiting.

"Ok. Sit down. I got it," said triumphantly sitting down himself.

Then he started speaking:

"Ok. You know about bees?" Heero asked his little girl.

"Yes. Of course I know about bees..." replied Evie getting suspicious about her father's mental health "…what does it have to do with babies, dad?"

"Everything. Look, bees collect the pollen from a male flower. Then they bring the pollen to a female flower and this makes the female flower to produce the right seed to make more little flowers. Do you understand now?" Heero said looking down his little girl hopefully.

"No. I still don't get what bees have to do with babies"

"Ah. Ok…well…bees have a lot to do with babies. Ok? You just have to trust your daddy with that."

With this Heero got back to his newspaper taking that their conversation was over.

"Daddy?"

"Yes?" Heero asked bracing himself for the worse.

"Can bees make me pregnant?"

"Daddy?"

"…"

"Daddy??"

Heero laid on his couch unconscious.

Sometime later, Relena got back home from her conference and was greeted by her little girl at the door:

"Young lady," she said, "what are you doing up at this time of the night? Where is your father?"

"Daddy is sleeping on the couch," the little girl replied, " I think a bee made him pregnant!"


	2. DUO'S VERSION

**DADDY, WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?**

DUO'S VERSION:

It was a peaceful afternoon at the Maxwell's residence. Hilde had gone out shopping leaving little Beth with her father.

Duo was in his workshop repairing some machine and his daughter was looking at what he was doing.

Duo was very proud: he could sense that Beth would be a really good mechanic and would inherit his ability of fixing almost every possible thing. Today, poor Duo was going to have the shock of his life.

His little girl opened her mouth to ask the question that Duo had been fearing ever since Heero had that 'incident' with the bees' explanation that had almost caused him to get kicked out from the house by his very angry wife.

"Daddy, where do babies come from?"

Right. There it was. THE question. Thankfully Duo was well prepared for this. He had done lots of research and had made an essay about the topic. He had read many books about this matter and he felt he could cope with this.

Oh. Yes. He was going to, for once in his life, do better than Heero Yuy. He was going to explain his daughter in plain English where babies come from and she was going to understand every single thing.

"Daddy?"

Ah! He had got distracted. Not a good way to start. Ok. There it went.

"Ok. Beth. I knew that you were going to ask that," Duo said smiling softly.

"Did you daddy?" she said curiously.

"Yes. You see, you are a big girl now, so I knew that sooner of later we would have this conversation. And I have to tell you that daddy is well prepared so you can ask as many questions as you like." Oh yes baby, this felt good. He was in perfect control here.

"Ok. So where do they come from?" Duo's daughter repeated.

"Ok. Babies, you know, are small human beings. They are the result of a union. You know, they only come from two people that love each other. If you don't love someone you cannot get a baby from him or her. So, we can say that babies are the result from two people loving each other," Duo finished the sentence feeling incredibly clever. He was an accomplished father. He had just solved one of the trickiest situations with his daughter in a matter of minutes.

"Ok. So, where do I come from?" Ah. Ok. This was planned. She has not fully understood his explanation. No problem. Duo had a plan B. As a Gundam Pilot, he always had a plan B.

"Ok. So, what happened is that, one night, your mum and I loved each other so much that after not too long, you came to bless our lives. So, you were a prize that was given to us because we love each other so much. See? It is simple, really. Babies come from two people loving each other. Got it?"

"Aha…Ok. That was simple. Thanks daddy…"

Then they just busied themselves repairing the machine and Duo was happy enough to explain all the processes that that had to be followed in order to turn a scrap of metal into a perfectly operational toaster.

Duo went inside the house walking happily with his daughter holding her little hand. He was smiling because he had gone through it with no major problems. He was a genius.

Hilde came back home and unpacked the shopping. She cooked a wonderful dinner and then took little Beth to the bathroom so her daughter would get her usual bath.

Then she tucked her little girl in bed and, after reading her a story, kissed her forehead and said:

"Sleep tight sweetie…love you lots and lots my angel…"

Hilde then got up from her daughter's bed and went towards the door and was about to shut it behind her when she heard Beth's very sleepy voice ask:

"Mum, according to daddy, if you love me so much, this means we are going to make a baby, doesn't it?"


	3. TROWA'S VERSION

**DADDY, WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?**

TROWA'S VERSION:

Trowa was feeding the animals at his family's circus. Today his sister Catherine and his wife Midii had gone to get the new circus' leaflets from the printing shop and was left to take care of his little four-year-old daughter.

He was pretty impressed that Victoria was not scared of the lions but again, being his daughter, that was to be expected. She was also a pretty quiet girl so very much like himself. He was very proud of her. Thankfully she had got the best of her parents. She had a nice dark blonde hair and two shiny emerald eyes. She was growing up to be a really beautiful little girl. Trowa worried sick that her looks would cause him lots of troubles when she grew up enough to start dating guys. Oh well, he would kill any guy that came anywhere near her. That was a pretty simple solution.

Suddenly, Tori got up from the grass and came near her father. Looking up to him said in a very soft voice:

"Dad. I want to know something."

"Yes. What is it?" asked Trowa breaking his proverbial silence.

"Well…I want to know where babies come from…"

Ah. Oh. Gosh. Ehem…Not all his training as the perfect pilot had ever trained him for this. He had heard horror stories from both Heero and Duo about their attempts to explain this to their daughters. It wasn't going to be easy so he tried an escape route.

"Ok. I don't know. You will have to ask aunt Catherine or mum."

"That's not true," Tori replied looking to her father accusingly.

"What?" Trowa was amazed.

"Well, you made me, didn't you? So you have to know at least where I come from…"

Oh my god. This girl was far too clever for his own good. Now what?

"Ok. So. You've caught me. I know something but not too much. I will explain you but you have to avoid asking me any questions at all, understood?"

"Sure"

"Ok. One night, I gave some special seeds to your mum and she kept them in a special place until they became you, understood?"

"I think so…" Tori replied.

UFF! Too close for comfort. Trowa looked down at his daughter who seemed perfectly happy with his explanation then, they just kept feeding the lions and the other animals from the circus till Catherine and Midii got back from the city.

They had dinner altogether and Tori was tucked in bed.

The next day Midii went to wake up her daughter and told her to get up and have breakfast because she had a surprise for her.

The little girl hurried to get dressed and have breakfast in a record time. Then Midii took her outside. Midii took some envelope from her pocket and, kneeling in front of her daughter, she told her:

"These are special seeds. What do you think that will come out if we put them in a special place for a while?"

Tori made a huge grin and replied happily:

"Well, according to daddy, I should get a little brother or sister, shouldn't I?"


	4. QUATRE'S VERSION

**DADDY, WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?**

QUATRE'S VERSION:

Quatre came back home terrified for he had just heard from Trowa's disaster and it had also been a pretty busy day so he was tired. In any case, he couldn't avoid going to the nursery to see his little girl before she went to bed.

Once he got there, he told the nurse to call it for the day and sent her to her room. He learned from the old woman that his wife Dorothy was not home: apparently she had gone to the beauty salon to get her eyebrows done.

He saw little Yasmine playing on the floor with some plastic cubes. He knelt to get her in his arms so he could take her to her room. The nurse had already bathed her and fed her so she was ready for bed.

On the way there, THE question was asked:

"Daddy, where do babies come from?"

Quatre waited till they got to his daughter's bedroom to reply. Laying her on her little pink bed he just told her what he had already prepared:

"You know Allah, He is the almighty and He rules over all living things ,you know? So, He decided to make you and give you to us. Because He is our loving father. We have to be grateful He blessed us with you."

"So, I'm here because of Allah?"

"Yes little Yasmine. Allah the almighty put you in your mum's tummy and hence you were born and given to us. Do you understand?" Quatre asked hopeful his daughter.

"Yes. But, how did Allah get me inside Mum's tummy?" Yasmine asked her father.

"Well, that is a mystery. I do not know. That is Allah's will and I have no say over these things…Allah decides and we obey. That is the way things are…"

"Ah. Ok. Thanks daddy…" Said Yasmine looking a bit sad.

Quatre, unfortunately, was too relieved to notice that sadness as he went to the bedroom's door.

The next morning, Dorothy was having breakfast and her husband Quatre had already gone to his office. Yasmine, after getting dressed by the nurse, was taken downstairs so that she could have her breakfast too.

"Good morning Mrs Winner. I hope you slept well," said the nurse politely.

"Yes I have, thank you. How did my little girl sleep last night?" Dorothy asked directing the question to her daughter.

Not receiving a reply, Dorothy looked up the nurse and gave her a questioning look.

"Mrs Winner, she has been like this all morning. She just won't speak…"

Dorothy got up and went to meet her daughter. Kneeling down to her level tried to grab one of her little hands but Yasmine refused. The little girl then looked accusingly at her mum and said:

"You are a bad woman."

"What?" asked Dorothy almost falling backwards.

"Yes. Daddy told me last night that he is not my father."

"What??" Dorothy repeated almost shouting.

"Yes, he told me that some very powerful guy put me inside you and that is the reason why I was born…"


	5. WUFEI'S VERSION

**DADDY, WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?**

WU-FEI'S VERSION:

Wu-Fei was in his dojo doing some meditation. Today it was slightly more difficult than other days for he knew that sooner or later it would be his turn to explain things to his little girl. In any case, he was sure we would do better than those bakas.

Although he was really happy with his daughter, he was still hoping that Sally would give him a baby boy. The Chang clan needed a worthy successor and, even though he loved his daughter, she was just a weak onna and, of course, the poor thing had all the limitations that her female condition brought with it.

Unfortunately, Sally didn't want to hear about making a baby anytime soon: she was far too busy with her job in the Preventers and right now she didn't want another child. Nevertheless, Wu-Fei was doing his best to convince her but that onna was the most stubborn person on ESUN.

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by a small voice.

"Daddy?"

"Yes Lucy. How can I help you?" Wu-Fei asked patronisingly.

"I wanted to know…"

"You want to know where do babies come from, don't you?" interrupted Wu-Fei. By Nataku, onna were so predictable…

"Yes, how did you know?" asked the little girl.

"Well…I am your father. I will always know more than you. You are only a tiny onna hence you don't know many things…"

"Ah. Ok. So, where do they come from?" repeated the Lucy.

He had predicted and fully prepared all of this. He was going to explain this to his daughter without messing thing up. At the end of the day, she was an onna so it was better if you kept it simple so the possibilities of screwing up would be smaller.

"Ok. You know what a cabbage is, don't you?" the Chinese man said.

"Yes…" Lucy replied. She was sitting next to her father and was paying lots of attention.

"Ok, some cabbages are special because they have been blessed. This cabbages contain babies and when babies are ready they are given to a married couple that will take care of them. So, when you came out of your cabbage, you were given to us and we are now taking care of you, ok?" Wu-Fei said getting ready to go back to his meditation.

"Sure. But, what happens if you want to give me a brother or a sister?" Lucy asked.

"Nothing. We just get another baby from another cabbage. It is really simple," Wu-Fei explained to her daughter patiently.

"Ah. Yes. It is very simple…but, what about cabbage soup…you like eating cabbage soup…" Lucy asked stubbornly.

"Yes, but that is because the cabbage has already been emptied and chopped so it can be eaten," Wu-Fei replied feeling that he was losing his patience "now, daddy needs to go back to his meditation."

With this, Wu-Fei dismissed his daughter and Lucy went to the garden to play.

After not too long, the little girl saw her mum coming back from the groceries store. Lucy followed her to the kitchen and watched her mum unpacking the food. Finally, Sally emptied the last bag and produced a medium size whole cabbage. She was going to cook the cabbage soup that Wu-Fei liked so much.

Lucy started to stare at her mum with growing concern. No. Her mum was not going to do that… there was no way...

Then, the unbelievable happened, Sally got a huge kitchen knife and was about to start chopping the cabbage when she heard a terrified scream coming from her little girl:

"NOOOO!!!! MUM, YOU ARE GOING TO KILL MY BABY BROTHER!!!!"


	6. ZECHS' VERSION

**DADDY, WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?**

ZECHS' VERSION:

Zechs and his wife Lucrezia were waiting impatiently their daughter's return from the kindergarden. They had discussed this for a long time before deciding that it would be best confronting THE problem before their little girl actually asked. They did not want her to get as confused as their friends daughters.

They sat nervously in the couch waiting for the nurse to bring their girl back home.

Zechs thought of himself as a lucky man. At least he was not going to screw things up with his wife. He could count on Lucrezia's support here and, if something did go wrong, at least the fault would not fall entirely on himself.

Lucrezia kept reading the book she had bought on the topic so she could revise the explanation they had so carefully prepared.

They had decided to stick to the truth. Their daughter's paediatric doctor had suggested that the best approach was to sit with their little girl between the two of them and by showing her the appropriate book explain the whole thing to her with a simple, plain English keeping things easy so she would understand.

They had been assured that their little girl wouldn't ask anything she didn't know about so, even if they explained to her something a bit too complicated she wouldn't actually want any further explanation and would stick to what she understood.

They really hoped so. Lucrezia looked at her husband nervously and saw that Zechs was even more nervous than she was. This was definitely a big step for the two of them as parents.

Finally they heard the door open and the typical giggles from a four year old. Little Irene was happy. That was a good sign. The girl came in the living room and went to hug her parents.

"Hi baby! How are you? Did you have fun today?" Zechs asked as to get her in talking mood.

"Yep. Today I learned lots of things," she said proudly.

"Really? And so, what did you learn today?" Lucrezia asked curious…

"Well, we learned to mix the colours so we get different ones and we also learned the first letters of the alphabet," their daughter explained while getting her notebook out of the school bag to show it to her parents.

"That is excellent! Well done!" commented Zechs looking at the drawings that Irene had done.

"Irene, daddy and mummy would like to talk to you about something," started Lucrezia looking nervously at her husband.

"What is it?" the little girl asked.

"Well, we wanted to explain to you where babies come from," added Zechs.

"Ah, that…don't worry, I already know that," replied Irene trying to get Lucrezia to look at her drawings too.

"What? You already know? How? Where from?" asked Lucrezia almost shouting

"Well, my friends Evie, Beth, Tori, Yasmine and Lucy have already explained to me. They are very clever, you know," said the girl getting her crayons out of her bag and starting to draw on her notebook.

"And what did they tell you?" Asked Zechs incredibly concerned.

At this stage Lucrezia was really worried…

"Well, they told me it must be kept a secret because their mums got really mad at their dads because, apparently their dads weren't supposed to tell them," Irene replied looking up from her notebook.

"It's ok. I won't get mad at daddy. But I really need to know," Lucrezia said taking her daughter and sitting her on her lap.

"Well," the little girl started looking at her parents "they told me that a guy called Allah put some special seeds inside a cabbage and the cabbage fell so much in love with a bee that I got out of the cabbage and was given to you guys…"

**THE END**

_A/N: So, did you like it? I thank very much Virny and White Witch for their reviews! You're great! Anyway, this was my very first attempt at making something remotely funny so I hope that, at least, it made you smile… I also hope it gives you some tips about what to do and what NOT to do when your kid asks you something like that…_

_Take care and be good, Sanae._


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